missing one

i knew we would make this list the minute i saw the link for "Most Hated".

my commentary on why i hate (not too strong of a word for college football) them:

1. not much to say except, agree.

2. their fight song makes me actually empathize with the people who hate rocky top. i.e., their fight song makes me want to vomit everywhere.

3. they did something to Syracuse circa the 1800s that made my parents hate them, so i was never a big fan except for maybe the quinn/samardzija tag-team.

4. i could count the ways. how about the current espn headline: "Have you heard?" with the subtitle "Many predict a championship season for Percy Harvin and the Gators". so so easy to hate. And the fact that they will forever brag about their sandwich championships will forever ever kill me.

5. eh, they're ok.

6. who still lives in michigan, anyway?

7. you know, the UT thing. at least vince is playing for the right state now.

8. they're stupid AND they suck.

9. eh, we beat them the time i went to miami, so nothing to hate there except the Orange Bowl is a sucky venue.

10. well hell, i like that version of sweet child o mine.

11. WHERE is LSU???

a few

i have a few random comments (imagine that):

1. Has anyone else noticed that Sportscenter's bottom-screen scroll now has FAVRE as one of the main categories? earlier, i could have said, "as one of the main sports". But now... good old smokin hot Brett is apparently his own sport. Perhaps rightfully so.so yes, now along with AL, NL, NFL, NBA, NCAAF, TENNIS, & GOLF, there is also FAVRE. Awesome.


2. I wonder how hard it was for Mr. Movie Trailer Narrator to say, "Coming soon to a theater near you: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants . . . Part Two" with a straight face. Part 2? what the hell? who watches this? oh, america. sweet land of liberty.


3. The two most frightening moments of my summer thus far have nothing to do with skydiving. The first was walking to the bathroom while we were camping in West Vahginia, headlamp on, and involuntarily letting my mind wander to Blair Witch Project scenes. The second was walking to the PwC office here in Houston from my hotel . . . at 8 o'clock in the morning. My god, this city is a bit sordid. To minimize getting stared down by fetid homeless men and talked at randomly by crazy homeless women, do not ever stay in the Courtyard Marriott in downtown Houston if you are planning on walking outside farther than the valet stand.


4. Back to espn: I had a nice little respite from reading any college football news (except when Colquitt got arrested), but I finally got the unshakable urge to read some of the speculation. Here's my favorite by Mr. Forde. He's indisputably the best NCAAF writer espn's got. though hopefully we do not start 3 and 3. God help us if we don't beat auburn, florida, OR georgia.


5. Joe sent me this article a couple weeks ago. Love the cheap wine - my parents taught me well. Charles Shaw and Target boxed wine are all I need. (and uptown TJ's is coming soon)


6. Two fiscal policy films are being released this fall: I.O.U.S.A. was shown at the Sundance Film Festival in January and is being widely released in 400 theaters on August 21st (DNC is 8/25) (how can DNC stand for Democratic National Committee and Democratic National Convention at the same time? One should be DNCC. Stupid.). An Inconvenient Tax (no, i'm not kidding...) will be released in November . . . conveniently. (sorry.)

i can only speculate on what specific policies and ideas each movie will try to pummel into our thick, unenlightened heads. however, as someone who has been forced to pay attention to accounting-related news for years now, i can only imagine that these films will be extremely scintillating. So to spare you from feeling obligated to go see them (what? oh.. not even guilt gets people to care anymore?), let me just sum up for you what our fiscal policy should be: less tax, less government. No taxation with representation.? i just made that up.

frankly, i'm sick of having to pay people to tell me to vote once i turn 18 for people who will uphold laws that won't let me drink until i'm 21. If i was still 18 i'd be pissed. Do people even talk about politics sober?


7. Will you sign this please?
pw= MCPR


retired quarterbacks who come back, pants, survival, college football, cheap wine, taxes, and tennis. My favorite things.

none for none

this makes me want to seriously vomit...

hezbollah hands over 2 dead people, probably in pieces, and it gets this guy in return, alive:

from cnn:

"For its part, Hezbollah is most interested in the release of the convicted Kuntar, the longest-serving Lebanese prisoner in Israel.

The Shiite Muslim militia group hails him as a hero.

Kuntar, who had been a member of the Palestine Liberation Front, led a group of four men who entered Israel from Lebanon by boat in 1979. They killed a police officer who came across them. Then they took a 28-year-old man and his 4-year-old daughter hostage.

Kuntar shot the father dead at close range in front of his daughter and tossed his body in the sea. Then he smashed the girl's head, killing her.

A 2-year-old girl suffocated as her mother tried to stop her from crying as they hid from Kuntar.

He was sentenced to life and spent the last three decades in an Israeli jail -- until Wednesday, when he is expected to return home to a hero's welcome."

what??? sounds like they are just eager to take out enemy trash.

i hope this is not going on a cnn tshirt.

offering

went to glen phillips concert the other night at evening muse. was v.hot and had to stand the whole time and couldn't see v. well, but it was still all right.

in any case, my favorite part was that, before the concert, i glanced at his website and happened upon this hedgehog video in his blog.. he offered the hedgehog. now i offer it to you.

flip flop lip lock

people are v. concerned about flip-floppiness of politicians. i've never understood why. why, in the face of changing facts and circumstances, ideas and preferences, should one not be able to change their mind.

things i have changed my mind about:
tomatoes
escargot
ideal places to live
ideal dog size
barbie's ideal hair length
purple
religion
abortion
what i 'want to be'
laptop backpacks
my parents
acid-wash jeans
country music
feminism
taxes
who i love
friends
fish tacos
coffee
favorite Blizzard
whiskey
eggs
wristbands
my middle name
things worth doing
how much i am willing to pay for sunglasses
panic at the disco

things that, if asked about, i will still answer, "it depends":
affirmative action
death penalty
standardized tests
north or south
moe's or qdoba?
family guy or southpark?
are you asian?
are you a nice person?
can you do me a favor?

and i changed my mind about most of the things on the first list due to capricious preferences, not any kind of logic.

things i may believe:
- people only really respond to personal incentives
- everyone is insecure
- when the motor of your car window breaks, it really does sound like the whole window is being ground into millions of glass shards in the confines of your car door. it is not.
- chicago is a 'real' city. charlotte is a pinocchio city. i loved pinocchio as much as anyone else. i just hate that he had to find out the hard way that being human kind of sucks compared to doll life. well, maybe except for the sex.. and candy
- i have no original ideas. every time i think i think of something novel, i find MY thought written down somewhere else... published at least 100 years ago. i'm led to believe that there is just something wrong with the dissemination of ideas. again, an old thought. i am destined to continue thinking that i am the only one whose car window shatters.

raiuowre

i'm currently watching a commercial for Cialis. i have one of those green, environment-friendly reusable Teeter bags sitting by the door to my condo, full of newspapers, that has been waiting to go out for 3 days. i'm listening to ingrid betancourt speak about how she never thought happiness was possible again.

i was telling joe earlier -- i mean, this is news, kids. after months of "did obama win or did hillary lose?"-esque idiotic headlines (that one really annoyed me), this news story enthralls me! hostages for 5 years - a bona fide kick-ass undercover rescue mission. reunited families. hope floats. so cool.

and those first 2 sentences i wrote have nothing to do with anything, really. just looking around the room, getting fingers on keys.

why does green have to represent environmental goodness? going green. ocean is bigger. how long have we been going green now? what if terrorists decide to adopt green as their official color? will that derail our environmental efforts? will broccoli become the new threatened crop?

god i'm word vomiting like a pro tonight.

does anyone get the cnn t-shirt thing? why would you want a shirt that says, "Cuba sets example for urban farming"? well, i thought about getting (i'd approximate for about -.8 seconds) the t-shirt that said, "asian women seek white, groveling men". back to my previous point - that 'news story' was not a new story.

also, after seeing pictures of the american hostages, i am convinced that the one is the leader of the G.I. Joes. you thought so too.

i am v. happy with life right now. i only mention it because it's been a long time since i think i could have said that. there are many things i have been v. happy with lately, just not life itself. though it still eludes me.

have a safe 4th.
(why spell fourth with a 'u' but forty without? great mystery)

(raiuowre = variation of mine and stephanie's sametime code for vomit)

socrates would not be happy

I don't think Google is making me stupid. But I do think this article is v.good. Because I, too, am a victim of a truncated attention span and this really annoying nagging feeling that I should be taking in information ALL the time, EVERY second. (Refer to my January entry, "you need to know this".) If one page takes more than 3 seconds max to load, I start a new Firefox tab. If that one takes more than 3 seconds to load, I start a new one. And so on and so forth until I have about 10 tabs open, and I can finally go back to the first tab, which, by this time, has been loaded for about 30 seconds now (an eternity!).

I mean, I am a prototype victim. I sometimes open a tab with a long article I want to read on Monday, put my computer on stand by every night for the whole week without closing my Internet browser, and by Friday, still have that tab open, with the article unread, save the headline and maybe the first sentence.

But it's an interesting article and makes a case for the pros and cons fairly well. And if you really are a victim and can't even bring yourself to read a long article for the sake of being aware of your inability to read a long article, then at least read this lady's view on the article. The part about Socrates fearing that, through the development of writing, we (ultimately, we):

would be able to “receive a quantity of information without proper instruction,” and would thus “be thought very knowledgeable when [we] are for the most part quite ignorant.” And be “filled with the conceit of wisdom instead of real wisdom.”

is a v. interesting concept to me. Of course, the shortsightedness argument is just as intriguing.

In any case, have a look-see. and a good day. and go read a book, for god's sake. and go to a philosophy lecture, for socrates' sake.

dotted line

dude, i WANT this. sign, please!

and i also want this -- so you don't think i only sign selfish petitions. so you don't think i am merely a non-smoker and not a non-wanter of the end of starvation! (the petition i signed at the time was for the end of extreme poverty/starvation, not AIDS.) i know how miserable life can be when no one feeds me. (i have to admit i am totally lacking in any direct experience with AIDS.)

of course, if you added up all the amounts from all of the credit card receipts i have ever signed, together with my signed mortgage documents, my signed car title, and my one signed painting (ok, that one's worth nothing), it would probably be enough to ... i don't know, do something interesting, anyway.

for those who smoke, here's something for you:
http://www.wikihow.com/Save-a-Wet-Cell-Phone

a bag of rice. genius! didn't save poor Chris McCandless, but it can at least save your priceless cell phone contacts. and that one pic from that one night... yeah, you know which one i'm talking about.

tough call

i realize that i distorted the quote from Webb in my last post into a weird non sequitur, kind of going along with the whole blog post in general. one random thought after another. come on, people stay with me.

anyway, i thought i'd keep it pictorial for Friday evening.
Credit to last night's Daily Show for bringing this picture's existence to my attention:


oh wait -- slow motion replay!


omg i love our president. heralded. esteemed. people do not realize his fun-loving, frat-star, god-fearing worth! but they will! the history books will prove it! i'm just kidding. he's all right. i'd have a beer with him any day.

what's harder to believe, chest-bumping president? or 2-headed turtle?

OR global warming?


OR how hot Prince Harry looks with a gun??

happy friday.

chicken wing grease

i am off to my tennessee wedding/engagement party/"last day" party extravaganza (today is my little brother's Last Day of high school. he is not graduating; he graduated 4 years ago. but, because of his disability, he went to high school for 4 years post-graduation to.. you know, get the most out of the educational system (read: because the system sucks, and the dolts running it didn't know what else to tell him to do). J (my little brother) is v.v.excited about his "last day". last night he and my dad had a preemptive celebration at Hooters and called me from the "restaurant" to exult over the gigantic amount of chicken wing grease they were able to accumulate on their hands.)

anyway, so i leave you with a small excerpt i read last night in Parade (yes, it takes me until Thursday to read all of the Sunday paper. what about it?) from Sen. Jim Webb's article, for no other reason than i thought it was an interesting viewpoint:

"When you have watched an enemy fight with ferocity and often with honor, you tend to conclude that on some level you have more in common with those you were trying to kill than you do with people who view wars only as an intellectual debate. . .

What has this got to do with the politics of today?

Everything. . .

Elections shouldn't be. . . auctions where a candidate sells himself [sic!] to the highest bidder. They should be moral contracts between those who wish to lead and those who are consenting to be led. . ."

Also, a quote from Ann Curry about her father passing away that i love:

"it is the lesson that is passed from generation to generation: how to live and how to die
with honor
and love."

happy memorial day weekend! go dale! beer! fast cars! yeaauuhhh

25.0

i guess it's about that time of year... when i should write about how i feel turning 25 and all... but really i've got nothing to write. i had some v. nice birthday cake and well wishes and gifts from joe, but besides that, it was a v. average day. i even went to the gym on my bday.. and changed the sheets on my bed! my lord, i guess i am getting old. to my defense, it did fall on a monday this year. i also hadn't been to the gym in ages and was starting to feel a little soggy.

it may be a little premature, but i've actually shifted back to viewing each year as a major accomplishment (after only 3 years of the post-21-oh-my-god-i'm-SO-OLD-that-my-hangovers-last-ALL-day-now syndrome). I'm sure this will shift back yet again as i approach 30.

(my mother actually has a "solution" to that OMG-i'm-so-old syndrome. she turned 59.0 this year. next year she will turn 59.1. She's not kidding. Old age has given my mom new life in a cool way. She cares nothing for what people think or how to please them; she cares more about her core loves and her own happiness. She neglected that for a while... it's impressive to see how much her self-possessed happiness has been a boon to... well, everything else.)

in any case, i really do feel accomplished for reaching 25. i think this is due to 2 things, mainly:
1. the more i live, the more i think that life is just kind of weird and random. and it's a struggle, really, to keep afloat most of the time. And i see my parents (both at 59.0) and my grandparents, among others, and i think, for chrissake, that's a long time to have survived this weird, random, unforgiving world. it's an accomplishment to which i pay high regards.
2. as my close friends know, i am in the middle of this lack-of-life-goals problem thing. so, you know, "Attain 1 more year of age" is as good and as reachable of a goal i've got.

yeah, I still don't understand what i am really doing with my life. the world in general is a backwards place to figure it out. Apparently at Tehran University in Iran, they chant "Marg-bar Amrika" (Death to America) every Friday. And then my nation is more concerned with political campaigns than political action. And then approximately 25,000 people die from starvation every day. It totally sickens me to think of all the food I've watched go to waste, just in my lifetime. my short 25 years. To quote CO governor Roy Romer (awesome name) in an article about the lack of quality education and the high drop-out rates in America: "We're not where a great nation ought to be."

I actually haven't changed at all since last year. I still conjur up v.big doses of concern for myself alone, and i still don't do anything to ameliorate the situations i grieve over. I'm pretty sure i've got to take the time to figure out my own shite before i can do anything worthwhile.

i can talk about something peppier. How about American Idol. How about David Archuletta looking like he was going to vomit-cry every time Randy or Simon complimented him on his faux boxing wins? How about that even David Archuletta gets sick of Paula's inane ramblings? I mean, they really are amazing. She can talk for a full minute, and at the end, you've actually detracted from your overall knowledge of everything from the contestants to embryotic stem cell research.

my end note -- go to www.catalogchoice.org and unsubscribe to catalogs. i am so excited i will maybe save 1 tree and not get 10 V.Secret catalogs per week, though i think Joe is a little sad.

like a record, baby

i have spent probably a little more than an hour staring at this at work between yesterday and today:

spinning girl

It mainly goes counterclockwise for me, but occasionally goes clockwise, and one time, i even got it to switch mid-spin. it was my proudest moment perhaps of the last few months.

it's no hoax -- mary alice and i watched it on her screen together and saw it going opposite ways. the weird thing is that, if you see her going counterclockwise, you see her left leg up, but if you see her going clockwise, you see her right leg up. i still haven't really figured that one out.

joe's first response was, "the spinning girl is pretty hot," and one of my manager's first comments was, "i can see her nipples." fair enough.

and then, this story is just unreal. made me tear up a little. what a little bitch cancer is.

4 minutes too many

i need some direction.
i haven't written anything in a while.
i think i forgot how to.
in fact, right now, i'm even kind of writing this like a Sametime (instant message, for those who are cool enough not to know)

i think i take on too much sometimes. in real terms, yes, but exacerbated by my stupid head.

for instance, extrapolate this situation: i am in the middle of printing out a baker's dozen worth of recipes. "Quick and Easy Summer Recipes!", Start to Finish: 20 minutes (right, IF i had Emeril-like resources with his little glass measuring bowls that have conveniently been filled pre-show with spices and chopped onions and organic extra virgin olive oil, by some miserable bloke who probably recently got cut from Hell's Kitchen).

i may, realistically, end up using approximately one of the recipes ... on or around August 31st, out of guilt because of all the time i took to print them out and, come august 30th, none of them being made. they will have been sitting pretty in a binder in a cabinet next to the microwave. neatly tucked away.

i may even then make another one in September, realizing that the recipes aren't half bad, and again regretting not making more. that's one of my fortes -- doing/wearing things out of season. the closet is the worst. the whole winter, i will lament every morning about how i have nothing, oh absolutely NOthing to wear. the first time i hear a bird chirp, i will look into my closet and lament over ALL the clothes i never got to wear when it was cold. idiot.

in any case, yeah, extrapolate that situation. i guilt myself into everything and stress about it in the meantime. it's not something to psycho-analyze in a blog, but it's pretty ridiculous.

the only solution i can come up with is to quit my job and become a bum. katie and claire have already agreed to join me once i can figure out a way to not have to sleep outside.

i promised mary alice i would not write about work, because it would probably get me fired. just one off comment, though -- today, i almost quit before figuring out the sleep-outside quandary when, in the breakroom, this woman kept squealing, in front of the microwave, "8 mEEnuts?! 8 mEEnuts?!! ah can't believe ah have to mahhcrowave thees lean kahzeen fahr 8 MEENUTS!"

i just decided to eat my leftover pizza cold.

and to be fair, it was more like, "uh-ate", not "eight".


"...fitty pahcent power?!"

final easter notes

... you know, for those who may just be getting back to school from easter vacay...

I was telling my mom the other day how i was eating too much candy and will probably have a shite-ton of cavities by the time busy season is over. She responded by saying that I should be thankful for my beautiful teeth… thankful to my parents for dishing out the cash to get good dental care (which I am), and thankful to the government. For putting fluoride in the water.

which i am… so, here is my token of gratitude to the government, for giving me good teeth, even during Easter -- a pictorial homage.

Fitting, no? Mary Alice and I decided more people should be aware of this picture. I agreed. So, here I am, spreading awareness and showing my gratefulness at the same time. Call me The Great Multi-tasker. For instance, right now I am listening to an altogether pointless TFS (Tax Filing Standard…) call and writing a blog at the same time. TGMT.

t minus 4 1/2 hours till madness in char-town..

why american kids suck at academics

Straight from charlotte.com.. find the one that doesn't belong.

Easter Monday | What's open, closed?

Here's how the following institutions will observe the 2008 Easter holiday today:

• Mecklenburg ABC stores: Regular hours.

• S.C. package stores: Regular hours.

• Banks: Regular hours.

• CPCC: Regular schedule.

• Charlotte buses: Regular schedule.

• Charlotte city offices: Regular hours.

• Mecklenburg County offices: Regular hours.

• FedEx: Regular hours.

• Federal offices: Regular hours.

• Charlotte garbage: Regular schedule.

• Post offices: Regular hours.

• Charlotte schools: Closed Monday-Tuesday.

• N.C. state offices: Regular hours.

• S.C. state offices: Regular hours.

• Stock market: Regular hours.

• UNCC: Regular schedule.

• United Parcel Service: Regular hours.

-- COMPILED BY GERRY HOSTETLER

a few Easter church notes

i learned that i have no obligation to believe in god unless i have:
1) physically put my arm through jesus's post-resurrected side, or
2) seen an abnormal amount of lightning bugs in my backyard (preferably after struggling with faith and doubt).

we got there late and had to sit in the very back, but it was a queen's seat, really, because i had a sniper's view of the sign language lady, who keeps me slightly entertained and in awe of how she can sign and listen, sign and listen, sign and listen in this continuous loop so that she is always doing both at the same time. ASL superpowers, must be.

anyway, when we got to the closing, even-if-what-i-said-didn't-mean-anything-to-you-maybe-listening-to-this-pretty-choir-led-music-will-help song, she was still signing to her viewer, in time with the music. and i thought, that's kind of strange.. the words are right up there.. he can read them if he wants to.. (quick mental check of reasoning - yes, deaf.. not blind.. ok). and then i saw him kind of signing along with it too, and she was still guiding him along, and it clicked (finally) that, of course he can read it, but he has no idea at what tempo. and then i went through this quick sad/happy emotion, thinking about how much it would suck to never hear music, how unfair that was to him, how much i have taken and mostly always will take that privilege for granted. then, how cool it was that he could have this, that he could at least kind of hear the song through this nice lady at church, that he could come here every week and be provided these ears to a side of the world to which this god he believes in decided he was not privy.

i'm still not sure what i feel about churches as institutions, but at least there's that.. in the meantime, while i make up my mind.

also, my sister got me a stuffed animal duck that has a towel wrapped around its neck. one side says "SPLISH" and the other side says "SPLASH". and when you press its hand (er.. wing?), it butt-dances across the table/floor, and its cheeks light up all while singing the song. we made it fall off the stairs and laughed hysterically an embarrassing number of times.

also, I AM LOOKING FOR TICKETS TO THE SWEET 16 GAME THIS THURSDAY. TICKETS!! LOOKING! CHARLOTTE! EAST REGION! Thursday! Please!

a few busy season comments..

- tonight I ate a whole pineapple chicken fried rice from Soho. The whole damn thing. I don't know what got into me. I got halfway through and decided I could power through. PUSH, if you will. I know only those who have ever had a PCFR will be able to appreciate it, but that's enough appreciation to make it worth mentioning. I'm sure I will have a monstrous bout of heartburn in about 15 minutes, but it was worth it.. worth mentioning. I should do more things that are worth mentioning. Though this was arguably not worth mentioning. OK, this was not worth mentioning. Maybe I should be depressed that the battle i won over my dinner was the big news of my day. (that and the french woman who died who had esthesioneuroblastoma.. i mean, can you imagine some doctor coming to tell you you had esthesioneuroblastoma??? i most certainly would choose pronto death.)

- so, you remember that show, fraggle rock? well, our building is set up like a lot of other tall buildings, with elevator banks split up by several consecutive floors. Our bank goes from floor 26 to 37. pwc is on floors 35-37. floors 26-34 are owned by the Hearst Corporation (yes, the Hearst that publishes e.g., "CosmoGIRL!" and that owns 20% of ESPN). So... long story short.. don't let Hearst's repertoire of fashion magazines dupe you -- sometimes i feel like i live above my own little 9-story fraggle rock... where hairy, disfigured creatures roam about and snarf on showmars below..

eh, that's bad, but i can't help it.. i saw a parallel.

also, in the time between when i started to write this and now, i also ate a whole bag of skittles. i am afraid i'm slowly fraggle-izing.

also, happy birthday to the coolest person ever born on this day, corny stuff, etc.

jump into the CESSPOOL

This is your official invite to the Cesspool bracket.. I tried inviting everyone the official way, but apparently it's not working.. and then I tried sending out mass messages, but that was way too time-consuming. Join through the CBS tournament link. Then click on Groups and join mine. Brackets need to be in by 11am tomorrow.

gah, look what living in North Carolina has done to me.. I'm not sure what I should be doing right now, but I don't think it's: writing a blog inviting everyone to a facebook tournament pool.

rightio, then.

U Rock!

i don't have much time to write blogs these days (during THE season, as ashley so aptly referred to it), but an advert for this book was in my inbox from amazon.com:note that the subtitle is: How Smart People Brand Themselves for Business Success
wow, seriously?
and yes, it is in hardcover.

the 'artist' column of my 'going out' playlist

all these people are in town this weekend for the ciaa tournament:

fabolous
fat joe
gucci mane
jermaine dupri
bow wow (my class may remember him as lil bow wow)
omarion
keith sweat (oh, so twisted!)
r kelly
doug e fresh
yung joc
lil kim
biz markie

i mean, that is just kind of crazy to me.. i don't know what else to say about it. except that when the acc tournament comes, we'll probably be lucky to attract ashley judd. for the ncaa east, perhaps peyton??!!! oh my god, i'm just realizing i would KILL for some TN tickets..