you need to know this.

Speaking of newspapers, I am slowly realizing that I am invariably overwhelmed by something that I really shouldn’t be overwhelmed by – information. There’s just so much of it. There are too many different sections of the newspaper… one telling me the current events and why somebody thinks they are important for me to know, a second about business and how it will affect me, a third about every sport with a spectator somewhere, the athletes I should note, their stats, a fourth telling me where i should travel and why, another telling me what I should eat and why, articles upon articles about how I should exercise and when and where and in what outfit and on which mountaintop while reading this newspaper while drinking non-bottled water and listening to XY artist (the first album, not the second), and don’t forget the cool down, oh and the warm up, and make sure your heart rate is within this range, stretch after, not before, lift weights rapido!, run slooow, walk if you want to, jump rope 42 times, and afterwards eat salmon (no) (yes) (good for brain) (too much mercury) (swims too close to the surface) (is a good color if you have to eat fish) (don’t eat the eyes) (eat it raw!) (nix that, now cows are in the IN again).

And there are websites for everything you never needed to know. Exact times of nude scenes in movies. Articles about nothing. Articles about other articles. Paris Hilton’s exact whereabouts at this very second (I don’t know if that really exists). Shopping via auction. Shopping via click and mortar. Shopping via social networks (no shit). Social networks. Shopping. Sales you need to know about RIGHT NOW because they only last THREE days and you have to enter this EXACT code which is case sensitive, time sensitive! Google, Froogle, Heroiusdfmoogle. BLOGS that ramble. my lord, the inundation!

I realize that I should just ignore the information that I don’t need. I do realize this. But sometimes, trying to get to the information that I do (think I) need, I get attacked by all this other information, sometimes in the form of pop-up or roll-down or unfurling, marching, machine-gun wielding ads. And it annoys me, because somehow, somewhere along the lines, information stops being privileged and starts being overwhelmingly burdensome. We’ve always known we’ll never know everything. Now the Internet keeps punching us in the face with it.

So, I’m just sayin. I don’t like being punched in the face.

oh ... i think i started off talking about newspapers. too many words. right.