i will always

think flossing the night before will fool the dentist

forget birthdays

forget names

pop zits

think i’m better

think i’m worse

eat more fries even though i was full 28 fries ago

love the 2 cheeseburger combo at mcdonald’s

not like the way i look

not like the way i am

know the words to left eye’s rap in “Waterfalls” (yes, i just recited it out loud to make sure)

think I deserve more

think I deserve less

hate lights that turn yellow just far enough away to make them un-run-able

try to think of the way with more right turns than left

be ambivalent

eat my eggs with ketchup

hate shrimp

want to travel

wonder what if

prefer reading a good book to reading the WSJ

be sleep deprived

rely on music

be ignorant

be simple

be disappointed

want more

know that always is too strong of a word to use in a title for a list

like a record, baby

life is this revolving door. no, life is like going through this revolving door that you can never get out of, and it can be fun, if you make it fun, but more than anything you kind of just want to be out of it, but centrifugal forces or some obese security guard won't let you out, and for a while you do actually still want to be revolving in the revolving door, but then you get bored again, and you just want it to be done. humans, they want ends to things. I want to clean my place and be done cleaning, forever really, but it’s never done. it’s done but then next week it has to be cleaned again, though not till the week after that is when it will actually get cleaned, but nonetheless it has to be done again, and it’s just this revolving door that you can never get out of, and it can be fun, the parts that don’t remind you of a revolving door, but the parts that do, you just want them to be done.

did I mention (in a complete shift to non-simile, literal world) that I hate revolving doors? they stress me out and involve timing and quick, door-squash-avoiding movements and awkward staggering amongst moving groups. and do not get it wrong – I am not afraid of revolving doors; I just, more simply, dislike them. for their lack of contribution to society, really.

her war. his world.

so i found 3 quotes in 2 articles in 1 magazine to be somewhat amusing.

1st article is about how female college acceptance rates are lower because, essentially, universities strive for 50:50 girl to guy ratios; girls do better in school and are more likely to go to college; thus, more female applicants than boys. Said article was written by Alex Kingsbury, whose gender presumably = M.
Quotes:
"Across the board, girls study more, score better, and are less likely to be placed in special education classes."
and then:
"The problem is that while women have made dramatic progress, men have not..."

2nd article is much shorter - more blurb-ish, really - about the link between heart disease and neurological diseases. Said article was written by Nancy Shute, whose gender presumably = F.
Quote:
"Wearing helmets when bicycling, skiing, or doing other high-speed sports substantially reduces the risk of head injury."

humm... i mean, i don't even know what to say. 1 step forward, past the Special Olympic contestants; 5 pedals back, lightyears behind Lance.

in conclusion, you should go see Transformers. the dialogue and character development = eh. (except, claire and i agree, for "Autobots, ROLL OUT!" and really anytime Optimus Prime speaks. My favorite interchange might be:
Optimus Prime: "Megatron!"
Megatron: "Prime!")
but the movie itself is PHENomenal. our generation had the BEST cartoons.

What Is Written

I was at home in Johnson City this past weekend, reading the paper, drinking coffee, eating fresh-cut strawberries on a lazy Sunday morning, knowing why I once was in such a hurry to leave home but, all the same, wondering how feasible it would be to quit my job and come back as a permanent fixture in my parents’ house. I’d be a good maid/dogsitter if need be, I think. I wouldn’t even mind being interviewed for one of those articles titled something like, “Dealing with the Un-empty Nest” or, more to the point, “When You Can’t Get Them to Leave”.

Back to the paper. Got to the Insight section, read an editorial by my parents’ new neighbor, Rep. David Davis of Tennessee’s one & only 1^st district (I discovered I really enjoy the fact that, if I really wanted to, I could walk 2 doors down, knock on Mr. Davis’s door, and ask, very deliberately, “So… which House do you like better: this one … or … that one??”), saw that he voted against the congressional pay increase, and was about to turn the page when I glimpsed the bolded words, “What Is Written”.

What followed were 3 bullet points:

1. Jesus can save you from sin
2. Jesus can save you from death
3. Jesus can give you life

At the end was some tagline along the lines of (no pun int.), “Don’t you want to welcome Jesus in so you can enjoy his gift of life?” Again, with my total lack of a photographic memory combined with enough dignity left to not take camera phone pictures of things I have a vague notion of wanting to write about later, that is totally paraphrased, and I’m sure What Was Written was more like, “Jesus loves you; you love Him; we’re a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love Him too?”

Back to the “What Is Written”. Because it wasn’t so much the bullet points or tagline that caught me off guard; it was more the lead that I thought to be awfully beguiling. So … you’re saying that, because it’s written down, it’s truth? Because it’s written, it’s more likely to be valid? Or because it was written some time shy of 2,000 years ago, it bears more weight than contemporary writings? Or because it’s consistently a bestseller and has been published in 80 gazillion different languages, versions, countries, and colors – is that what proves it’s true?

If so, then I’d better watch what I write. If I copy/paste my last drunk ramble onto enough people’s social networking pages and blog comments (in varying fonts), in another 2000 years, people are going to think my dad is God and that He makes you strong through margaritas. And the numbers 7, 1, & 2 will be v. profound, but only if the 7 comes first. And “I like typing” will be everybody’s favorite – verse Laura 7:21. Nice ring to it, I do proclaim.