I have a half dozen or so unfinished posts that I tried to start in the last six months or so, and they just can't be finished. It's impossible to figure out what nothingness to write when you haven't written nothing in so long. ...
So, here are notes from my Moleskine from the year (only slightly edited). I'm hoping this will help break the ice between me and my blog.
*I wrote that 3 days ago.
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Jan. 1, 2013
I meant to do a lot today -- finish a book, order our wedding album,** read some news ... but sometimes it's enough to be able to put another notch in the tree, spend the time with your husband (even if on a couch), and make it into bed again. Here's - cheers - to another year we survive.
Jan. 3rd, 2013
I want to tell everyone that they are brainwashed ... Everyone that doesn't already know this, of course.
Jan. 6, 2013
"Sometimes in life you have to make a choice between success and significance." - Jim Noble
Jan. 24, 2013
Proverbial thoughts from a plane -- I look down and think, wow. And then I think (randomly), my cousin is down there, and my uncle is down there, and everyone else I know. And the're all down there with their stupid ideas, and everyone thinks she's right, and no one's ideas quite match the others, and it's all very stupid.
But, it's the only thing we've got! And so it's not very stupid at all.
March 2013
Dust is my worst ENEMY.
Mon. May 13, 2013
I am almost to tears @take-off. What a marvel, a miracle flight is! Commercialization is the biggest paradox of them all.
Tues. May 14, 2013 GST
I'm in London, bitches!
May 19th
up in the air now, presumably flying somewhere over France, or perhaps around it. All there is to see is clouds -- I am above it "all."
But there is so much more! The stars were beautiful last night, stunning. I honestly can't imagine what people thought of the things thousands of years ago.
The British are such a funny people. I'm flying on an aircraft named Monarch, for god's sake!
I'm 30 now. What to think of it? Not too sure, as always. I had a good decade - those 20s. What a run. Now on to ...?! It's funny that I've book-ended my 20s in England.
What an amazing thing life can be, and what a dreadful thing it can be. We choose our paths, and we don't. One of the greatest palindromes in the English language is, go hang a salami - I'm a lasagna hog.
These are the things I have learned in the past 10 years.
Also, try hard not to care what other people think, but not too hard. Travel is essential. So are good friends and meeting new ones. Water is also a must. Sometimes just being able to brush your teeth and wash your face are beautiful things. Everything in moderation (unless you have diabetes or some other disease).
May 20th
Poolside
Back to London.
Papa Johns.
WiFi.
One of the most interesting parts of my travels hasn't been the novel things I've seen, for example, but the weird things I've eaten with my coffee and the fluidity with which I transition from it to beer. ... What does coffee not go with? It's hard to say. What does beer not go with. Same problem. Thus, my constant status as a cupholder.
June 5th, 2013
AM/ Isn't it weird that we have a designated hole that food goes into?
PM/ MORE THOUGHTS FROM A PLANE (pt. infinity)
- Getting on a connecting flight, I feel like a rock that's just been skipped.
- No matter how many times I fly, I don't think I'll ever get rid of the ever-so-quick but nevertheless present feeling of impending doom. My brain somehow knows -- this isn't something your species should normally be doing!
- I wonder how many farts have been embedded into this seat.
June 5th, still... last leg of the plane ride
Man sitting next to me on plane... looked at my book*** and gave me a quizzical/you're kidding me look, said, "OK" and that he's interested in books on military history. I realized that if I ever do make it as a writer, this guy is definitely not in my target demographic.
June 10th, 2013, a Monday.
We are moving. And so in my attempt to pack tonight, I stumbled upon my box of old journals.
And I read,... and I read... Mainly from 2002-2004 time period, most from England.
The best I can say is that I actually, after all that, don't hate myself, current or former.
Also, you think you know yourself, but you really, in some ways, don't.
June 17
"There is bliss in this mess." - Daniel Rossen
**Still have not done this.
***Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls, David Sedaris
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