no subject

i must say this has been a trying week in laura's world of public accounting. public accounting. pah. i don't know what's so public about it.. i sit in a cube all day and get to meet ZERO new people. daily. what you know about that.

but anyway, coming home tonight to have Agassi, Kirk Herbstreit, and Diddy all on tv at the same time made me v. happy. oh. mY GOD i am so ready for football season. I love that Americans love football. watching boys run up and down a big lawn with big white numbers painted on it, counting up and down to the red zones and end zones. and we go CRAZY for it and pay lots of money to watch them do it and plan events around it and drink watching it even if we're truly not that into it (my god, who are you??). YES yes i love it. and i will never know as much as the boys about who's the best in what position and who played for whom 50 years ago, because, frankly, i don't give a shit and can't remember all of it anyway, but i will always love watching it. and always root for Tennessee.

AND i don't care if you don't like Kirk Herbstreit because he said such and such about your team once and made a bad prediction and doesn't know anything about football in your expert opinion. I like Kirk.

ANd i think Fort Minor's thank you list tonight on the VMAs was longer than my list called, "People I Know."

so it goes

You know, I wake up every day, in this place, in this skin, with these ideas and experiences behind me, and nothing in front of me except what I can extrapolate from what’s behind me, and I buy food, eat, and then excrete it, and it fuels my body so I can keep living another day. and then one day the food kills me because I ate the wrong kind, or maybe a truck hits me, or I get an STD and blame death on my irresponsible libido, and I die, and all that’s left of me is a tombstone with my Polish last name, so that when a kid walks by, he would never guess a silly asian girl is down there. If he had to guess, he’d probably picture someone who looks more like my dad, so I guess I am a product of my parents, and that last name probably paints a more accurate picture than the person I show to the world now. so it goes.

Sorry that was depressing. I’m in one of those moods. Going to go to the pool now, where everything stays superficial. is a good fix.

cougar-fearing whats?

have you ever thought about all the things we feel, experience, know that don’t have words to express them? or maybe, that what we feel, experience, know is shaped by words - at least in the degree to which we relate it to others? Does that limit what we experience? does it limit life? I mean, even as I think about it right now, I can’t seem to make myself think abstractly – to think without using words. I may be making it more difficult by typing while thinking, but still…

I wish I knew a different language. I think it would be sweet to be able to think in a different language.. it would also be sweet to be able to describe things with a word other than “sweet” all the time. dulce. yeah. one of my friends told me once that she even dreamed in Spanish sometimes. that’s pretty sweet as well. maybe I’d get a Latin lover that way.

Also, who made up words? It’s a natural progression, I have to believe, from cavemen to the present, as it was probably easier to construct a language back then:
Caveman #1 sees cougar prowling slowly towards him. He grunts, which ends up sounding something like, “fear!” (er, whatever “fear” sounds like in Latin, though, of course).
Caveman #2 is standing beside him and nods his head in consent. “Fear” now has a meaning.

As opposed to someone now trying to make up words if, heretofore, none have existed:
Frat Boy #1 sees pretty girl prowling slowly towards him. He grunts, which ends up sounding something like, “hot.”
Frat Boy #2 is standing beside him holding the remnants of a joint and nods his head in consent. “Hot” now has two meanings.

so much to say, but no time to say it, no one to say it to, no words to say it with, and everyone’s afraid of public speaking.

and for emergencies: keep margarita mix on hand at all times

as my friends all (painfully) know, i hate being cold. thus, the thought of winter really depresses me. i also really hate shorter days. BUT! i figured out what keeps me from having SAD (.. genius acronym):

what gets me through August -
the thought of Fall and its reign over the warm side of the color wheel: FOOTBALL season, Neyland Stadium, falling leaves, apple cider, hayrides, Halloween - a great holiday because it's the only one that makes it nationally OK to scare the shit out of little kids, dress like a slut, and gorge yourself on candy

what gets me through November & December -
the thought of the holiday season. I just really love Christmas - a great holiday because it's the only day that my parents actually give me stuff gratis anymore. Oh, and family. yes, I love family... ohhh but i also LOVE my mom's maraschino cherry cookies and my dad's cranberry bogs. & our tradition of watching Christmas Vacation every year on Thanksgiving. So you could say that "I love my family and the things that solidify our love for each other." yes, perfect.

what gets me through January to March -
these are the hardest months, but the thought of spring and ultimately summer keep me from shooting myself. hmm.. also, do not have to go to the grocery store or run many errands at all because i never leave work. Oh, also, I do not have to shave my legs every day during these months. Boys ask, big deal? Very.

flipping awake

so i was reading the introduction of the awakening tonight (you have to read intros after reading the book, or else the book is ruined in a muck of analysis; plus, they usually plot spoil), and read this:

"Or [Dostoevsky and Chopin] may be said to propose that every human act is of the highest order of complexity and of ultimate significance."

so i was really contemplating that when I, in the same instant, looked up at the TV to see Paris Hilton preparing lunch on the simple life by ironing a quesadilla and throwing some Froot Loops on top. no shit.

i just had to sit and smile for a long time, realizing the naivete of the intro writer's statement.

Also read today:

"The humor in government, especially the way we elect Presidents, is the mother lode. When you're watching a man flip pancakes in New Hampshire while answering questions about Social Security reform, you're watching a funny way to choose the leader of the free world." - Dave Barry

ah, love that man.

my fair lady

some unfair things:

• Kyan Douglas is gay.

• When I walk out to my car every morning, I see two of the exact same cars. One is mine. The other is owned by some boy who went to Duke. My car looks infinitely better only because mine has a pretty, silver “T” license plate on the front, and his has an ugly Duke license plate on the front. Ah! I found a picture. See how ugly? ruins any otherwise respectable-looking car.Anyway, must be unfair for him, because he paid exorbitant amounts of money for his education while I paid next to nothing, yet we now have the same exact car and apartment, except mine are both prettier (I obviously don’t have to have seen his apt to know this). I (I have to admit) am also a little prettier. What?? with make-up on, i win hands down.
  

• this excerpt from an AP article:

  "Hilton also told the magazine she collects $500,000 in fees just to show up at parties and other events from Las Vegas to Tokyo. Her best-paying gig, she said, was a recent Austrian appearance.

  'I had to say "hi" and tell them why I loved Austria so much,' she is quoted as saying.

  And why does she like Austria? 'Because they pay me $1 million to wave at crowds!'

• i'm getting blog-comment spam... i mean, really??
  

as you wish

short wish list:

1. world peace
2. a car that never needs servicing, has a battery that never dies, does not need to be insured, is self-cleaning (... ovens can do it!), and that cools down black leather steering wheels on hot days
3. for dubya never to say another thing about what he’s going to do and why without knowing how the hell he’s going to do it
4. to always get my first serve in
5. on the subject of tennis, to become betrothed to andy roddick (he’s the only one I will deviate from my previous list for)
6. for people not to care about what drunk people say, even if he/she happens to be famous. we all say stupid shit. well, maybe mel said some really stupid shit, but i'm just already sick of hearing about it. jesus christ. yeah, i bet he said stupid shit too... come to think of it, isn't he responsible for starting all of this?
   
7. to travel to every continent, and to Colorado, before 30
8. to win publisher’s clearing house (seems more fun than the lottery.. plus I get to meet ed mcmahon or something, right?)