bienvenido a Melee-i

college football at its finest, folks.

a little background: within a pathetic conference - when handling pigskins and sanctions - known as the ACC, there exists a highly overrated team, Miami, which bombs it big-time this season. They first lose to big-time rival FL State, which was a big-time game at the time, but now that both non-big-time teams are unranked for the first time since like the 1970s (relegated to the catch-all of overrated teams - the "Others Receiving Votes" category), it was really a stupid game to begin with. They then go on to win against FL A&M, which is a school I've never really heard of (for a reason), lose to Louisville, eke out a 1-point win v. Houston (yes, like Memphis, known more as city, not football team), "revenge" last year's loss v. UNC, and, last week, pound Florida International. literally. with football helmets and cleats and expletives flying around like flies around a horse's ass (see youtube.com).

So much so that all the espn writers and commentators just could NOT restrain themselves from using the word melee in all their recounts of the on-field battle. I, myself, would've used internecine brawl, since it has more syllables and makes me sound smarter and is just as appropriate.

Anyway, the best thing to come out of the whole debacle were the comments during the i. brawl from Lamar Thomas, a (former) Miami TV analyst, whose following words were broadcast live on CSS (but will, saddeningly, not be broadcast again):

(Notes before reading:
1. Thomas is a former Miami player.
2. Florida International, despite its name, is not international nor across any oceans - it's across town from UofM.
3. The sound byte is even better than the transcript.
4. Apparently Thomas made references to the "OB", an acronym for the Orange Bowl (Miami's piss-poor excuse of a stadium that stands awkwardly in the middle of an uninviting, unattractive ghetto), many many times (nostalgically, I'm sure).)

"Now, that's what I'm talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing ... I say, why don't they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ball game and get it on some more? You don't come into the OB, baby. We've had a down couple years but you don't come in here talking smack. Not in our house." (see espn.com)

oh man it makes me laugh every time. The sad thing is, poor Lamar got fired, and I'm pretty sure he just got hired before this season's start. I have no clue why on earth you would choose to fire the guy when he provides so much entertainment. I mean, he was just putting his "heart on his sleeve", as he commented. It was all about heart. No condoning violence.... but... I bet his heart-on-sleeve would've been the one leading him down that elevator shaft.

But that IS why i do so love college football - so much heart. which used to sound humanistic. now, i become bellicose humanist.

Also, we have no problem with airing countless r-tard reality shows that debase human values at their utmost core, but we have a problem with a guy who gets caught up in the moment and blurts his heart onto his unassuming sleeve?... and is more entertaining? i mean, isn't that reality tv at its best anyway?

Also funny - at first, Miami suspended 13 of its players for 1 game b/c of the melee (heh). That one game happens to be against ........ Duke. Ha! That's like telling 13 fifth-grade boys that they can't go play badmitton with the fourth-grade girls.

OK, also funny - when you open up Florida International's homepage, one of the headlines is, "The Path of Nonviolence." Referring to Indian religion. Funny.

Ok, 1 more funny thing - the Forde Yard Dash, by Pat Forde, which is always fantastic, but does a great job this week labeling UofM as Thug U and FL Intl as Thugs In Training. Fantastic.

Scroll down a little in the Dash and get a taste of the rip on Georgia I'm going to make later. yeah, Uga can kiss Smokey's ass ... and the Commodore's, i suppose. ok, well, he can kiss mine at least.