So… I’m sick and “working from home” this morning, but with a high fever, it’s hard to get motivated/started. So my computer prompted me to download internet explorer 7 when I turned it on just now, and it was taking forever, so I was clicking on random things that didn’t involve the internet and got to a folder called “emails.” Well, looks like I was a lot better at archiving things back in college than I am now, because there were various documents: “Dad’s emails”, “personal emails”, etc. along with a few saved IM conversations (no making fun.. you know as well as I do that relationships have started, lived, and ended by those things. I wouldn’t be surprised if religions have been founded, wars been waged through THE instant messenger). Anyway, then there’s one titled “[insert ex’s name here]’s emails”. So I’m thinking, wow, I saved those? and open it up.
And… well, damn. All I can say is that I have no right to complain about any unfavorable treatment I get from guys nowadays. I had a guy who really cared about me, and, though it didn’t work out, I do know that all men are not, in fact, assholes. And while I know our going separate ways was for the best, I just regret that I may have hurt him, and, in mine and my ex’s case, I know I was the asshole, not him. I never cheated on him or even thought to do so, but in some way I think I cheated him out of something…. what? I really couldn’t express it in words, but something. And, the thing is, I might be getting cheated out of something now, too, but I deserve it, and he didn’t. I hope he knows that i did and still do care about him, that I’m sorry, and that he deserves better. he’s a good guy… a better person than I will ever be. no shit.
so, I have no right to complain and will not anymore. life’s been pretty good to me, and karma’s a bitch, yo.
ugh, i've been up for half an hour now and i think i need a nap. night night.
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