you need to know this.

Speaking of newspapers, I am slowly realizing that I am invariably overwhelmed by something that I really shouldn’t be overwhelmed by – information. There’s just so much of it. There are too many different sections of the newspaper… one telling me the current events and why somebody thinks they are important for me to know, a second about business and how it will affect me, a third about every sport with a spectator somewhere, the athletes I should note, their stats, a fourth telling me where i should travel and why, another telling me what I should eat and why, articles upon articles about how I should exercise and when and where and in what outfit and on which mountaintop while reading this newspaper while drinking non-bottled water and listening to XY artist (the first album, not the second), and don’t forget the cool down, oh and the warm up, and make sure your heart rate is within this range, stretch after, not before, lift weights rapido!, run slooow, walk if you want to, jump rope 42 times, and afterwards eat salmon (no) (yes) (good for brain) (too much mercury) (swims too close to the surface) (is a good color if you have to eat fish) (don’t eat the eyes) (eat it raw!) (nix that, now cows are in the IN again).

And there are websites for everything you never needed to know. Exact times of nude scenes in movies. Articles about nothing. Articles about other articles. Paris Hilton’s exact whereabouts at this very second (I don’t know if that really exists). Shopping via auction. Shopping via click and mortar. Shopping via social networks (no shit). Social networks. Shopping. Sales you need to know about RIGHT NOW because they only last THREE days and you have to enter this EXACT code which is case sensitive, time sensitive! Google, Froogle, Heroiusdfmoogle. BLOGS that ramble. my lord, the inundation!

I realize that I should just ignore the information that I don’t need. I do realize this. But sometimes, trying to get to the information that I do (think I) need, I get attacked by all this other information, sometimes in the form of pop-up or roll-down or unfurling, marching, machine-gun wielding ads. And it annoys me, because somehow, somewhere along the lines, information stops being privileged and starts being overwhelmingly burdensome. We’ve always known we’ll never know everything. Now the Internet keeps punching us in the face with it.

So, I’m just sayin. I don’t like being punched in the face.

oh ... i think i started off talking about newspapers. too many words. right.

hit me with your best

so, last night, after i was somewhat violently thrown back to the 80s (is there any other way to be thrown back to the 80s?), I fell asleep on my futon fully clothed (boots, too) and woke up in a 330am daze still drunk. And unfortunately, after a quick perusal of the night’s picture gallery, the conclusion (foregone) is that no pictures are post-worthy (I’m either shooting off into some random corner of the cab/bar, or it’s just plainly non-post-able, as my judgment has ruled after recalling the censorship pleas from my past photo-post combo victims). so, for this blog post’s Moral Ineptitude Lesson, you’ll have to just believe me when I confirm that the last shot, indeed, is always the worst decision. Whether it is the climax of a night full of previous bad decisions, or the denouement, or, at worst, the start of more bad decisions, it is always that shot that lets you climb over the flimsy line from the fun side to the oh-no side.

speaking of shots and bad decisions, I read a little blurb in the paper today (yes, that was basically my 1 new year’s resolution – to get the weekend paper… and yes, I realize I am the world’s (1) biggest dork, and (2) laziest resolution-er (maybe next year’s resolution will be to do more crossword puzzles)) about how this church in Ballantyne is going to put come-to-church messages in the bottoms of shot glasses. I think they’re going to say something like, “give us a shot”, along with the church’s name… [insert Jim Halpert face here]. The church minister (or leader – I think it is one of those churches that deems itself progressive by way of simplified monikers (‘message’, not ‘sermon’) and the proliferation of contemporary christian music) said something like, he is 100% positive it will be controversial. Well, I don’t know about the controversy (this is America - we can find a way to make anything controversial), but, considering that there’s only really one demographic I know of that would even stop to look at their glasses after taking a shot, I’m just concerned that that church is going to have to start dealing with a lot of homeless old drunks. yeah, good luck with that.

Also, go GIANTS.

housekeeping

in an failed attempt to do some housekeeping on my computer files, i found some pretty funny stuff i had written in the past:

in a file titled 'thought of the day' (an idea which i think i've tried to resurrect at least 4 times):
Life doesn’t remind me of anything. 10/10/05

in a file titled 'analogies':
But analogies are like pop songs: the bad ones are overplayed and the good ones are overlooked.
Life is like a UT football game.
(and after this groundbreaking statement, i somehow failed to expound.)

in a file titled '24':
and this writing is so ineloquent, so imperfect, so non-poetic; it’s just how I feel. are feelings always so raw and juvenile-sounding? I wish someone like Maya Angelou or Edith Wharton could tell you how I feel. it would sound so much better.

in a file titled 'june':
Modern day martyrs have to be the biggest cowards alive. er, dead.

in a file titled 'the strange thing':

Don’t give them a way to live, just a reason to.
Right?
Self-interest.
It’s a shit world.
But it can be so beautiful.

and , something i wrote that i don't look back on and cringe at its absolute triteness--
in a file titled 'thanksgiving 2003':
For my little brother who teaches me to step back from my little bubble and remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be right. For reminding me not to take anything for granted. For teaching me to be tolerant of differences because they are what makes life interesting and beautiful and worth it.

auld lang syne

Well, I was a bit of a bum in 2007, really. I wrote half as many blog posts, read half as many books, was half as satisfied with my job, probably drank twice as much. My second year in Charlotte was definitely akin to something sophomoric, a weird phase in which things (city, job, friends, myself) had a new familiarity, which is a strange familiarity, because the trick i think is to not be content with it but to dig deeper so that things aren't merely familiar but are known. It was a reconciling of things within, feeding off of the things without.

It was just time. A sun's revolution's worth of time. But if, through my interactions with them, more people (net, me included) are better off now than they were on the 31st of 2006, well, then it was time well spent.

I read these 2 decent recaps of 2007 in my hometown’s local newspaper (ap articles, of course) - 1 for sports and 1 for entertainment. I can't find them anywhere online, though, which simultaneously irks me and also reminds me of the intangible value of printed press.

Anyway, I had a lot of free time during my break last week (year, har har…), so I thought I would attempt to write my own recap of 2007. And I did. But, looking at it now, I don’t know if I want to post it or not. Could just do a picture recap. Because if a picture is worth a thousand words, and the picture is used to describe 365 days, i would've just written 365,000 words, right? The way newspapers are dumbed down these days, I'm a little worried that by this time next year, they'll all be written in hieroglyphics. I'm going to start writing work memos in pictures. ohhh, or smileys.

Dear >:-O :
If you waive the penalty, I will be :-D
If you do not, I will be :-(
You choose.
Kind regards,
:- /

Hey, it could happen. 2008 has already proven to be unpredictable. So it goes.