the next morning

I woke up this AM wearing my blazer, Claire's red hoop earrings, and my $2 necklace from Body Shop. somehow i had managed to get my shoes & jeans off... the light was still on... you know how it feels when you get so drunk that you wake up the next morning and feel like you just woke up from being dead for a few hours? yeah, that feeling! that was me this morning. i walked out of my bedroom, and there were chips on the floor by my computer desk, which must not have made the long journey from my hand to my mouth... the culprit bag from which they came was lying next to the mess.. that along with the near-empty bottles of hpnotiq and Burnett's lime vodka, neon straws, and leftover raspberry crystal light in my kitchen created some mix of a homeless person/college freshman look. so sweet. my friends and i are not only super pretty, but also ghetto superstars. yesssssss.

oh man, my body hates me! i have to play tennis in an hour, and i'm praying for rain... just the thought of physical exertion right now makes me want to vomit... i think my Emergen-C is helping a little though... my call log is also v. scary.. i can only hope that i left no horrible messages, but that may be hoping for too much.

anyway, thought i would write something, since, upon reflection, i am a little lucky to still be alive and able to write about it unassisted. i did, however, fall UP the stairs to my apartment (i'm sure if my neighbors had any thoughts of me before, they have been confirmed, and i am now regarded as the ditzy drunk asian girl who falls up stairs), and i did think that kristen was a god for curing my hiccups. i was so amazed. cannot explain to you the extent of my awe (although i did have to be reminded of it today). doesn't take much, folks! just a lot of liquor, some Fuel pizza, and some hiccup curing = pure awe .. and no memory. oh god, what did i do?? say?? must call friends and find out...

Hollywood says, the bad guys always drive black cars

OK, so for those of you who don't know yet, here's how i usually work... I write nonsense (word vomit, if you will), proclaim it as truth, and then later realize that it's the bullshit that it is and try to call my bluff before anyone else beats me to it.

So as not to disappoint, here i go again.. I think the power of the Hitler statement caused me to overlook that it's actually not true. Hitler didn't end up keeping all of his promises to the Jews. Now, i'm not totally sure -- because "decades in which alive" are among the things that Hitler and I do not have in common -- but I would have to guess that if Hitler were to make any promise to the Jews, it would be to annihilate them, not to kind of annihilate them. So.. Hitler failed, too. And when i say "too", i mean, along with the people who wanted to save the Jews, aka - the sane people

So let's make 2 distinct groups:
1. The Good Guys (who drive white mini vans... with surround sound DVD players & fold-away 3rd row seats)
2. The Bad Guys (who drive black PT cruisers... with AK47s)

The Good Guys made promises (to each other), had hope, lost hope, lost lives, and were left jaded and emaciated in a harsh reality. The Bad Guys made promises (to the world), had a plan, carried it out, and would have kept their promises if those damn warmonger, invade-other-countries-when-it's-not-their-business Americans hadn't stopped them. (Caution! I am not pro-war! in fact, quite the opposite. Just presenting all the facts.)

All The Good Guys had were faith.. and hope. good things to have, yes (hope is my middle name, so i think i have to believe that, by default), but their false hope proved to be demoralizing more than anything. All The Bad Guys had were an ambitious leader with a well thought-out plan and guns.

Faith & hope v. One insane, determined leader & lots of guns.

And so, the moral: to avoid crazy people taking over the world and killing off humans by categorically (heh, double meaning) deciding they don't belong on earth, speak loudly and carry a big gun.

nacht, nuit, night

yesterday i read elie wiesel's novella Night. it briefly recounts his experience as a 15-year-old living out the Holocaust. yeah... living it out. The Holocaust. It's amazing..... amazing in the worst kind of way because you just... the whole time you just can't believe it ever really happened. can't believe that people could and still can consciously cause that extent of human suffering. what allows for that?? what? what goes wrong that makes wrong seem right to these people? it makes me wary... very wary of what i believe to be right ...

I've been wrong many times before, but sometimes I get so giddy about changing my ways from something wrong that I forget that just because my previous way of thinking was wrong, doesn't mean my current thoughts are right.

This quote is a bit harrowing... I can't decide what I think of it yet, only that it's perhaps one of the most powerful statements I've ever read:
“I have more faith in Hitler than in anyone else. He alone has kept his promises, all his promises, to the Jewish people.”
– said to Wiesel by a dying Hungarian Jew, wearily... stating a fact, no longer caring about opinions..., p.81, Night

switch!

ta da! i have finally made the jump and switched blog spots... Friendster had to go with its obscene advertisements in the middle of my damn posts. Along the side, ok, whatever.. But i am not having michael jackson's face flashing all over the middle of my page! gross! i can't see pictures of him without thinking of little boys.. how jacked up is that?? bastard. you made such good music! your mother must be so ashamed of how you've turned out.

Have been MIA lately -- busy season and no internet and what not (god, if only you knew what "what not" encompasses ... I am limited to what i write for fear of the literate constitution of the audience). Tonight is a brief easing back into blogdom after the sabattical ... Plus I have to iron half my wardrobe so I have something to wear to work. Good times. I hate work clothes. They remind me of work.

By the way, have you ever looked at your teeth? I mean, really taken four fingers and drawn back your lips and looked at them?? you should go find a mirror and try it. so strange... (me and my teeth, yes)

Oh, and quote of the weekend:
"Muslims, Christians, Hindus... it's all the same god.. We just worship that god in different ways." -Victor, our designated crazy cab driver who LOVES us... and is satisfyingly punctual.

and JIC, my old site