673. I just found out one of my friend’s (Leave it to Beaver-like) parents are getting divorced because the husband of umpteen years has a new girlfriend.
674. Sharing is just not my style.
675. It’s a mere game of tag, you're it! in Hollywood.
676. I am selfish and not a good listener and many other things that would land me in a counselor’s chair.
677. Right now I can write whatever I want without anyone looking over my shoulder.
678. If I got pregnant, I couldn’t drink for NINE whole months.
679. If I got pregnant, I’d only have NINE months to stop swearing and develop a soul.
680. I’d probably fall down the aisle.
681. My family is notorious for extreme inebriation at any and all family gatherings.
682. I hate mowing lawns, and since the unsaid rule is to buy the house after the ring, I’d probably have to mow a lawn.
683. I can hardly handle parental love maturely; forget love love.
684. I wouldn't be able to watch really bad late-night porn with my friends of the opposite sex anymore.
685. If I want a 'witness to my life', I'll just sign up for a reality TV show. or get a dog. maybe an imaginary friend and name her Sally, since my dad won't let me name my car ("it's a car, Laura, not a damn ship)
686. I would be waiving my god given right to be on The Bachelor.
The preceding is an excerpt from the list, “Why I am never getting married.”
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