lesson: breathing is important.

OK, I’m sorry, but I have to comment… this David Blaine thing.. in a breath (no pun): Stupid.

The ABC commentator just quipped, “I don’t think anyone out there thinks David Blaine failed tonight.” Well, uh yeah, hate to break it to you, but … technically, he did. Not trying to be overly cynical… just definitional. I blame his failure purely on stupidity. because I’ve never tried to break a world record, but that’s because I’m not stupid enough to try. David Blaine – very capable of conquering one world record… at a time. Who tries to break 2 world records at one time? One’s not enough for one day? Who thinks, you know what, I think I’m going to attempt to break the record for most time submerged in a gigundo fish bowl in the heart of New York AND.. yes, ANDDDD immediately afterwards, break the record for holding my breath for 9 minutes WHILE unchaining myself from a fish bowl. No worry that I mentioned in a tv interview that, after 5 minutes, it feels like pure torture to not breathe, since I think we’re supposed to do that every second, but by golly, it sounds like a splendid way to spend an otherwise idle week in May. Yes, I have no sympathy. Starving people in Africa = sympathy. Idiot in fish bowl holding his breath = stupid. I mean, David’s cool in his own right… I liked watching him eat glass and take out some girl’s teeth and spit them back in, but cross the stupid line, and you’ve lost me.

Last comment: the whole production was lousy. When Blaine finally came up for air (after 7 freakin minutes – which is nothing short of amazing – I tried to play along… I only got to 45 seconds), his stupid coach says, “hey, you got this, yeah, you’re doing all right, just keep breathing,” in this stupid soothing voice with stupid ‘calming ocean’ music playing in the background. It would’ve been much cooler if, the minute he came up, someone had said, “holy fucking shit man, what the hell?? I only made it 45 seconds, but I mean, you only had 2 minutes to go! ..... good god, you look like shit! have a bad night??”

come to think of it, he prob made a crap load of money, and Disney made him do all that. ok, he gets some stupid points taken off. But not all!